Author: commissions_4hqr30

When tensions run high, sometimes the best solution is a night on the town — or so they thought. After deciding to bring Cassie along for a round of karaoke to smooth things over, Miss Match and Desi wake up to a harsh morning full of regret, caffeine, and whispered recriminations. What really happened at the karaoke bar? Let’s just say some performances are hard to forget.

Transcript

[Panel 1: Cassie’s office – Desi enters]
Narration box: One week later…
Desi: Cassie… I want to apologize for trying to kill you with demonic coffee.
Desi: If you still have it, I’ll exorcize the spirit, and remove it from your office.
Cassie: So… you can possess anything with a spirit — making it a sentient object?!

[Panel 2: Desi posing playfully]
Desi: Yeah. It’s kinda my thing. Why? — You want something possessed?
Cassie: I’ve been considering it…

[Panel 3: Desi excitedly leans forward]
Desi: Ooh! What did you have in mind?

[Panel 4: Cassie opens her desk drawer while Desi looks intrigued]
Cassie: You’re not the only one with personal effects at the office…

[Panel 5: Elsewhere in the office – Jeremy sitting at a desk suddenly reacts with Spider-Man style effects floating around his head]
Narration box: Elsewhere…
Jeremy: Subby-sense… tingling!

[Panel 6 – Morning in the kitchen]
Caption: The next morning…
Miss Match (seated at the table, holding a mug): Can you keep it down?
Desi (pouring sugar into coffee): How can I pour sugar any quieter than this??

[Panel 7 – Closer on Miss Match, head down on table]
Miss Match: No.
Miss Match: The coffee… If you can keep it down, you’ll be the first one this morning.

[Panel 8 – Desi sipping coffee, Miss Match still slouched]
Miss Match: What were we thinking?
Desi: Someone had the bright idea to take Cassie to a karaoke bar to bury the hatchet.

[Panel 9 – Desi sipping coffee, Miss Match exhausted]
Desi: Cassie is a formidable woman, for someone who’s not a supervillain.

[Panel 10 – Cassie bursts into the breakroom, singing dramatically]
Text (Cassie singing): TURN AROOUUUNND, BRRRRIIIGHT EEEEYYYYYES!
Miss Match: Who says she’s not?

Demonic Apologies and Possessed Objects

Weeks after trying to kill her colleague, Cassie Cruz, with “demonic coffee,” Desi reappears with an apology. Offering to exorcize the lingering spirit from Cassie’s office, Desi reveals her unusual talent: the ability to possess objects with spirits, giving them sentience. Intrigued, Cassie hints at her own plans — possibly involving a personal item at her desk.

Coming soon…

Here’s a sneak peek at an upcoming bonus cartoon! For more behind-the-scenes excitement, check out yesterday’s Shareholders’ Report.

Transcript

[Panel 1: Cassie’s office – Desi enters]
Narration box: One week later…
Desi: Cassie… I want to apologize for trying to kill you with demonic coffee.

[Panel 2: Cassie sitting at her desk, Desi standing nearby]
Desi: If you still have it, I’ll exorcize the spirit, and remove it from your office.
Cassie: So… you can possess anything with a spirit — making it a sentient object?!

[Panel 3: Desi posing playfully]
Desi: Yeah. It’s kinda my thing. Why? — You want something possessed?
Cassie: I’ve been considering it…

[Panel 4: Desi excitedly leans forward]
Desi: Ooh! What did you have in mind?

[Panel 5: Cassie opens her desk drawer while Desi looks intrigued]
Cassie: You’re not the only one with personal effects at the office…

[Panel 6: Elsewhere in the office – Jeremy sitting at a desk suddenly reacts with Spider-Man-style effects floating around his head]
Narration box: Elsewhere…
Jeremy: Subby-sense… tingling!

There are only 24 hours left to nominated Evil Inc for Best Humor Webcomic — and Alex Heberling for best colorist in this year’s ’Ringo Awards. If you haven’t done so already, I would greatly appreciate your consideration!

Transcript

Panel 1:
Catnip: Looks like we owe you an apology, Cassie.
Giant Tess: We were pretty rough on you.
Cassie Cruz: Oh, it wasn’t that bad…
Desdemona (laughing): Heh — She calls possessed coffee, a poisonous cobra, quicksand carpet and booby-trapped office supplies “not that bad!”
Jeremy (confused): “Booby-trapped office supplies?”
Iron Dragon (leaving): Um… excuse me. Be right back!

Panel 2:
Cassie Cruz: Speaking of apologies… I owe you one! Our hench ruined your scheme.

Panel 3:
Cassie Cruz: I’ll do whatever I can to make this right with you.

Panel 4:
Lethal Librarian: I want to hand-pick a replacement for Angus.

Panel 5:
Lethal Librarian (pointing): Her.
(Revealing Lightning Lady in the background.)

Angus has been through a lot during his time as a hench… but nothing quite like this. In today’s comic, he finds himself in a place where brute strength and bravado aren’t enough to survive — and where the rules are written in blood. It’s one of our most haunting, literary turns yet, complete with a quote that cuts deeper than any sword. Strap in for a surreal, atmospheric tale that puts our favorite minotaur face-to-face with something he can’t punch his way out of.

Transcript

“He [the matador] must have a spiritual enjoyment of the moment of killing. Killing cleanly and in a way which gives you aesthetic pleasure and pride has always been one of the greatest enjoyments of a part of the human race. Because the other part, which does not enjoy killing, has always been the more articulate and has furnished most of the good writers we have had a very few statements of the true enjoyment of killing. One of its greatest pleasures, aside from the purely aesthetic ones, such as wing shooting, and the ones of pride, such as difficult game stalking, where it is the disproportionately increased importance of the fraction of a moment that it takes for the shot that furnishes the emotion, is the feeling of rebellion against death which comes from its administering. Once you accept the rule of death thou shalt not kill is an easily and a naturally obeyed commandment. But when a man is still in rebellion against death he has pleasure in taking to himself one of the Godlike attributes; that of giving it. This is one of the most profound feelings in those men who enjoy killing. These things are done in pride and pride, of course, is a Christian sin, and a pagan virtue. But it is pride which makes the bullfight and true enjoyment of killing which makes the great matador.”

— Ernest Hemingway, “Death in the Afternoon”

The Lethal Librarian has identified Angus the minotaur as the spy who has been leaking sensitive information to the superheroes, and she prepares for him a fate worse than death.

The nomination round for the ’Ringo Awards ends in a few days, if you haven’t nominated Evil Inc for Best Humor Webcomic — and Alex Heberling for best colorist — I would greatly appreciate your consideration!

Transcript

Panel 1:
 Lethal Librarian (pointing at Angus):
 “LISTEN TO THE EVIDENCE! You’re the only one who had access to all of the false information!”

Angus (gesturing with arms):
 “Cruz and her assistant BOTH had the same access as me!!”

Panel 2:
 Lethal Librarian:
 “Why would they plant fake intel just to leak it? If you hadn’t come around, they’d be the prime suspects!”

Panel 3:
  Lethal Librarian:
 “AND if they’re working for the heroes, why give them bad leads ON PURPOSE?!”

Panel 4:
 Angus (hands raised):
 “I dunno! Maybe it’s a false flag! Or reverse psychology! …Or maybe they’re just incompetent!”

Panel 5:
 Catnip:
 “Cassie wouldn’t do a false flag!”

Panel 6:
 Giant Tess:
 “OR reverse psychology!”

Panel 7:
 Desi:
 “OR a false flag!”

Panel 8:
 Cassie (facepalming):
 Sigh “I guess two outta three ain’t bad…”

Jeremy:
 “You’re doing fine…”

Panel 9:
 Lethal Librarian (floating surrounded by books):
 “Speaking of fines…”

Angus and Catnip look on in background.

Panel 10:

A woman in a green outfit (Lethal Librarian) stands with her fist clenched. Around her, books are flying through the air. A minotaur wearing green plaid boxers (Angus) recoils in terror.
Cassie Cruz: “What’s happening?!”
Jeremy:

“Lethal Librarian has two main attacks — Check-in and Check-out! — This looks like the former. Using Check-in, she can convey his essence into the world created by any book.”

Panel 11:
A woman with blonde hair and a blue and yellow superhero outfit (Lightning Lady) shouts angrily, face in close-up.
Lightning Lady: “NO! You’ve got the wrong man!”

Panel 12:
Lightning Lady is confronted by Lethal Librarian, who points accusingly.
Lethal Librarian: “How can you defend him?! You caught him cheating on you!”

Panel 13:
Lightning Lady: “Angus is the most honest, loyal, trustworthy man I know.”

Panel 14:
Angus is sucked into a glowing red book titled “Death in the Afternoon,” his body disappearing as red light surrounds him.

Panel 15:
The book now lies closed and giant-sized on the floor, with “Death in the Afternoon – Ernest Hemingway” on the spine. Lethal Librarian and Lightning Lady look on.
Lethal Librarian: “Now he’s a doorstop.”

After a series of fake missions and misleading intel, suspicions within Evil Inc are at an all-time high. Someone on the inside is sabotaging the operation. Meanwhile, Angus the Monotaur—newly reassigned and under scrutiny—finds himself at the center of the brewing conflict. As doubts spread and fingers point, the villains struggle to separate fact from fiction — something this librarian excels at.

Chapter 16 | Page 17a: False Flags and Fines

Panel 1:
 Lethal Librarian (pointing at Angus):
 “LISTEN TO THE EVIDENCE! You’re the only one who had access to all of the false information!”

Angus (gesturing with arms):
 “Cruz and her assistant BOTH had the same access as me!!”

Panel 2:
 Lethal Librarian:
 “Why would they plant fake intel just to leak it? If you hadn’t come around, they’d be the prime suspects!”

Panel 3:
  Lethal Librarian:
 “AND if they’re working for the heroes, why give them bad leads ON PURPOSE?!”

Panel 4:
 Angus (hands raised):
 “I dunno! Maybe it’s a false flag! Or reverse psychology! …Or maybe they’re just incompetent!”

Panel 5:
 Catnip:
 “Cassie wouldn’t do a false flag!”

Panel 6:
 Giant Tess:
 “OR reverse psychology!”

Panel 7:
 Desi:
 “OR a false flag!”

Panel 8:
 Cassie (facepalming):
 Sigh “I guess two outta three ain’t bad…”

Jeremy:
 “You’re doing fine…”

Panel 9:
 Lethal Librarian (floating surrounded by books):
 “Speaking of fines…”

Angus and Lightning Lady look on in background.